awake.

to be content with what you have is difficult.
i have the most amazing friends.
i have great family.
i go to an awesome school.
i'm living.
i'm breathing.
what is there to discontent with?

and yet i feel like something is missing.
a void that aches when i think too much.
when i'm in silence.
when i can't sleep.
God helps. He fills part of that void.
but there is still that longing.
for an ever-present protector and encourager.
for the love of a male, father-like figure in my life.
of almost any male figure. like a brother.
an acceptance i've longed for, for a long while.

so i'll wait.
be content with what i have now.
friends. family. love.
but i'll still be waiting.
for that one person.
who can fill that emptiness.
who will hold me and tell me that everything will be okay.

God i turn to thee.
help me feel your ever-present love.
help me to be content.
this i pray to you with all that i am.
amen.