freedom

last night in my house.
in my room.
in my bed.
i can taste freedom on my tongue.

?

when you look at me what do you see?
when i talk to you what do you hear?
am i the person you thought i was when you first saw me?
do i say one thing and do another?

am i a hypocrite?
am i a liar?
do i get jealous too easily?

am i immature?
am i too sarcastic?
am i mean and hateful?

am i too weak?
am i a pushover?
am i quick to judge?


am i who i say i am?
or am i just one big fat liar?

leave

these walls are my cage
and have been for 18 years
i used to be young and naive
believed everything you said
went along with it all
the hypocrisy
the judgment
i just sat quietly
and let you tell me what to think

but not anymore.
i am now using my own brain
thinking my own thoughts
saying what i truly feel
even if those things hurt you
believing what i want
not what you tell me to
seeing how close-minded and critical our whole family is
and i hate it

you'd have to be blind not to see what i'm describing
the tension
the lies
the two-faced people
but i guess that's family for you.

i am determined to be who i am.
not who my you tell me to be.
this is my life.
not yours.
stop trying to live it for me.

nothing

i can't think of what to write about anymore.
is that bad?
does that mean my life is good?
or that it's so bad my mind is blocked?